Here's the deal, I want to be pregnant, we are trying to be pregnant and I know there are an awful lot of you out there who are as well. So every month when I get my period, I get a little sad. But not today. NO WAY.
I'm not discussing details of our situation, and know that you respect that. This is my view, my humorous way to deal with my situation, so don't get all angry or sad on me ok? No need. We will get there however and whenever we are supposed to.
Today, let's talk about how great it is to NOT BE PREGNANT.
- I get to wear skinny jeans with no bump.
- I get to do whatever the hell I want whenever the hell I want to.
- If I weren't a raging alcoholic, I could drink as much as I wanted and not feel guilty. But I digress.
- I get to swear my head off with no repercussion.
- I get to teeter around on my heels and run and fall with no worry for whether I'm hurting another being inside me. If I get hurt, it's just me, and that's easier to deal with.
- I have a ton of me time. I keep hearing "enjoy it while you can." And well, I really do enjoy it.
- I've gotten to get and stay sober for a good long while before I bring a child into our family. A gift that a lot of people don't get. My child, HP willing, will never see mommy drunk.
- We get to be idiots at Disney World later this month and not worry about being careful or dragging a baby along.
- I get to spend quality fun time with my wonderful Dumpster Husband. Which, let's face it, when you've only been married for almost 3 years, is still pretty fucking great. He's the person I would pick above anyone else to spend time with. And that alone is way better than a lot of couples can say.
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| My new favoritest picture of all time. |
Here's the list of things to keep in mind when speaking with me:
- Mentioning babies is good. I love babies! I don't get sad when baby talk comes up.
- Don't worry I'm sensitive when someone else is pregnant.
- You won't upset me by telling me YOU are pregnant. I'm super happy for you! Unless you are just an asshole and I wouldn't be happy about anything for you. But most, times, YAY, happy!
- I'm not being snarky and sarcastic and hiding how I really feel you guys. Sure this is a sucky position to be in, but in NO WAY is this a terrible situation. No one is dying. We are all good. This is not a sad situation.
- Whatever you are feeling about me feeling is YOUR FEELING. Let me decide for myself how I feel, ok? Most of the time it's pretty damn good and grateful.
You are awesome, and as usual, blowing your "cold, dead, black, heart" lie out of the water. xsnos
ReplyDeleteMay I add a few more things to your positive pile?
ReplyDelete1. You don't smell like sour milk.
2. The only ass you're in charge of cleaning is your own.
3. No one is stealing your food at every meal (unless DH does that)
4. You can still color your hair.
5. Caffeinate till the cows come home.
I know you're looking forward to a baby and I'm sending you positive thoughts. But in the meantime, I think you're doing a great thing of appreciating your now life. That's a really hard, but really important, thing to be able to do.
Fanfuckingtastic post.
ReplyDeleteAwesome! You and your husband are in my thoughts that soon you will be posting that you are expecting! I think you'll be a great mother.
ReplyDeleteAnd...you don't throw up every time you get near food for 37 weeks!
ReplyDeleteOh, and you can eat as much sushi as you want. Wait, you don't eat meat, nevermind.
ReplyDeleteperfect outlook to have...being sad and bitter wont change anything..it will just make you sad and bitter...enjoy life every day as is!
ReplyDeleteAnd...you don't even need that "pregnant glow". You're already glowing! :-) Seriously, you are stunningly beautiful, you drunk! (Had to throw that last part in to keep you humble. LOL Hopefully your normie friends won't be offended.)
ReplyDeleteI love this - and I love the pic of you and DH. I am so happy to be on the journey with you - no matter what each day brings - you bring sunshine into my life. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI love that picture of you guys so much! It's perfect. And happy pre-pregnancy days to you, woman. Enjoy those freaking heels.
ReplyDeleteI know it's not quite the same, since we're trying for baby #3, but this is the exact stuff that I think of when I think of how we don't have that third kid yet. But you forgot: sleep, glorious sleep.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the years, and I mean years of annoying unwanted advice from loved (and not loved) ones. Every month you can put that off Is a blessing. Of course the baby love out weighs it, so I'm excited it will happen one way or another for you guys. But trust me....you will be blogging about stabbing yourself in the ears. Especially if you raise them veg!
ReplyDeleteYou are the shiz. The end.
ReplyDeletehow incredibly un-selfish of you! i'm impressed that baby talk doesn't bother you and other people getting pregnant doesn't make you want to punch them. yes, i'm speaking from my own feelings ;)
ReplyDelete