Things I Love Thursday - Part 32

I just got to walk back from my doctor to the office on a beautiful day in Chicago.  And DAMN let me just say I LOVE MY CITY. 



This Marilyn statue is next to the Wrigley Building.  It's huge.  And I still don't know how I feel about her. 

 It is a treat to be able to live, work and play in this gorgeous city.  My doctor is in my old neighborhood, right off Michigan Avenue, or the Magnificent Mile, as people like to call it.  I lived in an area called Streeterville.  I lived in a high rise, more like a hotel really.  After running away from a relationship and living situation I stayed in way too long in 2005, I finally got out on my own at 32 years old and lived on my own for a few years.  It was odd in that it was a tiny studio apartment that I paid way too much in rent for, but I had to get out on my own and I had to do it in a place that was available NOW. 

While I was walking back from the doctor today, I saw an old (she says with all respect) woman who lived in my building walking down the street.  She always had a huge smile and was cute as a button, and I was so happy to see her, I gave her a huge smile and may have scared her a bit.  It was just nice to know she's still out and about and enjoying herself. 

What this TILT is really about though are the feelings I had while walking through that area.  From smiling to crying in one block, I realized how grateful I am for my home and my family today.  I talked a bit about being homeless for a while in this Fancy Pants Big Shot post I did last week, but I don't really talk about that much as I feel like it was another lifetime for me.  However, when I walk around and encounter homeless folks who clearly have many issues going on, I feel among them.  They are my people.  I wonder if that will ever change?  I hope it doesn't, as it keeps me firmly planted in my reality.

My reality is if I drink, if I don't carefully watch my sobriety and do the things I need to do to maintain a spiritual program of health, I will lose everything and wind up homeless again.  I am of these people. 

I then got to thinking about my husband and our home.  Our little apartment that is so full of love and fun and safety that I got teary eyed.  As I go through this journey of trying to have a baby with my true love and life partner I am so filled with gratitude that I am exactly where I should be and with exactly the right and only person for me.  I never had that feeling my entire life.  I didn't have it with the man I married once upon a time a long time ago, and I never had it in any other relationship. 

Having a roof over my head is a gift I never take for granted, not for one second.  Having a home with a man who loves me so much and helps me feel that love and partnership every day, is a gift I still can't quite believe is happening to me sometimes.  I know I'm worthy, it's not that I feel unworthy.  I just can't quite believe that I have all of this love and security in my life.  We can lose everything, and we might, any day - we just don't know.  But for right now, in this moment, I am cherishing what I have and who I have and feeling such gratitude my heart is bursting.

And yes, I am a bit emotional lately.  Smiles.  I love every second of this life and I am so grateful I am alive to see what happens next. 



And there is my bus!  But I'm going to walk a bit.