LEGS UP!
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| Not a toothbrush. |
TRANSVAGINAL ULTRASOUNDS AND BLOOD TESTS FOR ALL MY FRIENDS!!
Shoots of glitter guns, pew pew pew pew!
This Thursday I am CHOOSING to love my morning routine of going to Northwestern Hospital. You know, I go every single morning now, for my tests. The staff actually have gotten to know my big stupid face and are very kind and funny with me now. It just takes a hot minute and then people usually realize I'm pretty freaking awesome. And most of them are too, once you break through their "going through the motions for the 8 millionth time" face.
It finally happened. This morning, almost legs up in stirrups, the gal says, "You look like someone." OH MAH GAH. And sure enough, she continued by saying, "I'm not the only Stenographer who thinks so; we've all been talking about you."
Well, isn't that nice. Then we laughed and laughed. Seriously. I've been legs up with this girl every damn day for the last week and I was so happy to be laughing with her, I didn't even get irritated.
I'm so grateful that Northwestern is a top notch medical facility and my husband's insurance lets me do this fertility gig there. I am so thankful it's right downtown, across the Loop from my work. And that I get to go in every morning at 7am before being at work at 8am-ish. This makes a huge difference in my daily schedule. I can take the train downtown and then walk about 6 blocks to the hospital with a gaggle of about 30 nurses or nursing students who also take the train.
We all line up - about 20 women there for infertility each morning - some who are actually smiling and saying hi to me now - get our numbers for ultrasounds and go wait. I see some of the same women every morning. One woman was in our orientation when we went a couple months ago. I know this is hard. I know none of us want to be there. I also know it makes me feel less alone and afraid to have a kind look or a how are you from one of them who is going through EXACTLY the same thing I am. It helps. So I am trying and some probably hate me for it and wish I would take my stupid big smile face somewhere else, but I'm here. I'm grateful to be here and to be given an opportunity to try this.
Bing, bang, boom, Ultrasound and blood work, and I'm outta there hoofing it across the Loop to the Tower in time for work.
I am really, REALLY grateful for all of this. The convenience makes it a bit easier to swallow all the pricking and prodding and money spent on this baby stuff.
I don't even know who I am anymore, but I'm smiley for some reason and reaching out to other women going through this. Usually I just reach out to other drunks and leave the rest alone. Now, I'm reaching out to other women going through this baby stuff. And they are reaching out to me. Either in person or through my blog or the Facebook page. And I am so grateful for all of it. The notes of encouragement and love I've received are absolutely mind blowing to me. Every single one is so precious and I cannot thank you enough.
Also, I love my bird earrings I have on today.
I LOVE YOU!
ReplyDeleteYou look super cute. Everyday that is tough, I'm glad they get you in and out. Oh probably could do bad pun there...
ReplyDeleteSending you tons of love and support. And a funny joke. Here goes....what are the two most hated words in the lives of any woman? "Slide down".
ReplyDeleteHope it made ya giggle.
Stay strong, and stay awesome.
xoxo
<3
ReplyDeleteYour post made me want to cry. I wish know your going through a lond I wish that it would happen already as do you! I see all these teens that are so ungreatful of having babies and yet people who really want babies have to try so hard... I think about you all the time.. I love you picture and your earings! :) I follow your posts on Facebook to see if there are any new updates, and because you constantly make me laugh!!
ReplyDeleteI went with my mom to the infertility place (my bro is a surro baby) and there was a woman in the waiting room who had the biggest smile, she said nothing to us, but we all ended up leaving at the same time after the appointments were over. As we were walking towards the elevator she asked how our appointment went and then she excitedly told us they just artificialy inseminated her with her husbands sperm and she was really excited and hoped the magic was happening. We all laughed even though it was a little weird to be blabbing that there were sperms in your baby maker. I remember when we got to the car my mom said 'well if it doesn't work out for me, I really hope she gets her baby, wasn't she the cutest?' I agreed. I later saw the same woman in there a few weeks later with an ultrasound pic of her baby, she was with her husband bouncing up and down showing everyone. It brought a tear to my eye. Someone who could be saying 'this is shit, I hate that I have to go through all this' instead turned it around and I am certain positive energy is a magnetic force. You remind me of this every day. You're on your way and you're doing it dude! Every day is one step closer. One team one dream! And a thousand other cheers for you!
ReplyDeleteThis made me weepy. Well, this and Zooey Deschanel. Darn her.
ReplyDeleteKeep smiling! Infertility is more difficult than anyone can imagine. I didn't do IVF, couldn't afford it. We did a couple IUIs and just doing that I was poked and prodded more than I thought was possible. Having those other women who are going through it at the same time you are, is a blessing. Just a smile can help one of them get through all this. Wishing you good luck and lots of good thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteYou are too cute and I know those ladies there probably LOVE seeing your smile!!!! oh and those earrings are adorable!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou made me cry. Even through the tough stuff, you still lock on to gratitude. I have learned so much from you and am now pay more attention to the things I am grateful for. I love you.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, when I started reading your blog, all I could hear was Grandmama saying, "What kind of hussy starts her day with her legs in the air, showing her hooh-ha off to anyone that wants to take a gander? For shame!"
Smooches, babe!
I am new to you, but in my wandering mind I am wondering if you have a dumpster out there for a baby to be put in? I read the part where you would love to rescue a baby like you rescue animals... Then the phrase "build it and they will come" shoots through my head! There are always babies that need to be rescued, so maybe if you put a "dumpster" (which could mean a bassinet) somewhere then someone could give you exactly what you want!
ReplyDeleteAwesome. And while I"m sure at first I'd think it was weird and uncomfortable to have 20 other women in the same boat as me....it does seem like it might be nice to have a group of people you are able to get some support from and give support to. It's nice to know you aren't alone. And then when you all get pregnant within the same year you have automatic play date peeps.
ReplyDeletelove the birdy earrings and the fab black & white print!
ReplyDeletehang in there. i was 'lucky' in the fertility part. the prego part was specialist & test filled. it makes a huge difference when the nurses get to know you. i was in twice a week for 10+ weeks. knowing the nurses & staff was heart warming & made it a bit easier. any who, i hope once you're pregnant you have a happy, healthy, stress free pregnancy.
Kitty Kat- I loave loave loave you with all my heart!!! I know this probably wasn't supposed to make my way to skinny bum all ready eyed, but it did. You are so strong in all you do and I wish I was even an ounce as strong as you. Xoxo. Chunk
ReplyDeleteYOU are so beautiful - inside and out. I kind of want to dry hump your leg - in a socially awkward, yet non-stalker-ish way. Seriously - stay strong Momma - the journey is totally worth it <3
ReplyDeleteSomething has me sniffly after reading this. The earrings? No, no, that's not right. I think it's something about the love. And the openness. Love it. Love you. Looking forward to loving even more in the future. ♥
ReplyDeleteMy fingers, toes, and any other part I can cross are crossed. My best friend in the world went through this and I never minded her venting to me. Take care. I hope you have someone to vent to. I know that hormones can be "hell".
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome that is who you are!!! I am blown away by your courage, humor and compassion towards others.... I am so grateful to have met you.
ReplyDeleteHi. So, I've gone through the same crap. we just had our 11th IUI. We've done this for 8 years. "it only takes one" they keep telling me. I go through the same routine as you every morning. It mostly sucks, but sometimes is not too bad. We've got to hold on to hope. Sometimes, that's all there is...
ReplyDeleteHi. So, I've gone through the same crap. we just had our 11th IUI. We've done this for 8 years. "it only takes one" they keep telling me. I go through the same routine as you every morning. It mostly sucks, but sometimes is not too bad. We've got to hold on to hope. Sometimes, that's all there is...
ReplyDeleteThere is such comfort to be found in shared experiences. I got this growing up in playing sports and being part of teams. I get it now with my running friends and writing pals. It warms me to hear that you are feeling comfortable and at home with these other women and the nurses who are taking such good care of you. xo.
ReplyDeleteEvery. Morning. GAH! Do they give you stickers or lollipops even for having to go in every day? They should.
ReplyDelete