How Lovely to be a Woman

I've got these tights pulled all the way up to my bewbies.  I've got them stretched to their very breaking point.  AND THEY LIKE IT.  They are keeping Hall & Oates tucked in and affording me the luxury of wearing boots and dresses every damn day.  I'm so grateful I am not super hugely preggo in the thick of a Chicago horrible summer.  Fall and Winter are my lifeblood.




27 weeks and 4 days!  All is well.  All is well.


All that said, there's some weird shit going on.  I keep saying, because I am the first and only woman to ever be pregnant, this will all be quite shocking to most of you mama's out there, as I'm sure you never experienced any of this nonsense yourself.  In fact, I wrote a post a while ago about how much I loved NOT BEING PREGNANT and I meant it.  

BUT here we are and Hall & Oates are at 27 weeks along and I keep hearing, are you ready?  OMG ARE YOU READY? to which I answer, "NO WAY.  How could I possibly be ready for all this?"  Because how can you be?  I'm ready for the awesome and I'm ready for the non-sleep crazies, but REALLY, how could we possibly be ready?  We are just doing the best we can to be realistic.  And enjoying every second of it. 

I keep saying, it's all new to me, and there are some things I've noticed, so here we go!

1. We are healthy.  All three of us.  Doing perfectly well, everyone passing every hurdle and test with flying colors.  Except for the mama passing out on the table every time we have an ultra sound.  But that's all fine too.
2. BEWBIES.  My breasteses are big.  They are not hurting like they were during in vitro though, which was unbearable.  This is fine.
3. My belly is HUGE.  And getting bigger EVERY SINGLE DAY.  And I am in love with it.  I'm in love with how I walk up to my dear sweet dumpster husband and he kisses it or just talks to our babies and all  of it.  I just love how huge I am and I've said before, when you've sucked in your gut since you were about 8 years old, at 39 years old to let it out is HUGELY RELIEVING and awesome.  Oh, I bump into everything now, but that's just fine.   I stare at it in the mirror.  I stare at it in the shower.  As I can't really see past it any more, it's really something. 
4. My hair is KICK ASS!  I've never had good hair.  I have good hair while pregnant!
5. There's some burping.  I'm not going to lie.
6. I cut my nails to within bleeding distance, but I do have to do it all the time, so I guess they're growing right? I just keep them short as can be as I like them like that.
7. The sleep thing is tough.  These spazz dancers are waking me up and keeping me awake a lot of nights.  I know, I know, it's just prep for when they arrive, so it's all good.
8. My skin is KICK ASS!
9. Everything is terrifying! 
10. Everything is exciting and new!
11. I've never had heartburn.
12. I've never had hemorrhoids.
13. YET.
14. People look at me really weirdly sometimes and I get a chance to focus them onto my face and smile. 
15. My balance is still KICK ASS!  From 10 years of figure skating?  From wearing heels forever and ever amen?  Whatever it is, I'll take it as long as it lasts.
16. People really are kind and want to hear all about what is going on.  I've enjoyed chatting with folks who never talked to me before they really had something to relate to with me.  Let's talk about babies!  Or being Pregnant!
17. People really want to take my mind off being pregnant and all this.  I enjoy being with friends who couldn't really give a rats ass that I'm pregnant and just ignore it and we just go on as we always have.  I really truly appreciate that, as I am a person too you know! 
18. Sobriety is still hard. 
19. Not smoking is still REALLY hard.
20. All in all, In Vitro was terrible for me and kicked my ass.  The pregnancy part is easy compared to all of that.  And I'm so damn grateful to BE pregnant that I really have NOTHING to complain about.

20 things off the top of my fantastically haired head that really are all FANTASTIC.

I know I'm not the first and I'm certainly not the last woman to be pregnant.  But when it's all new to you, you want to share it all, right?  There you have it.  It's really a gratitude list. 

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS NUMBER ONE.  over and over and over.  Number 1.